I think on this particular Sunday afternoon, October 23, 1994, Mom was still giving a lot of thought to something she had heard at church that morning. She taught a Bible class for many years and studied the Bible daily most of her adult life. Growing up in a long spiritual family tradition, what she learned all those years gave her a massive background of knowledge. Here is what she wrote -
"Help me and all the family learn from God's holy word. Sin was brought into the world that was a perfect place until Adam and Eve transgressed God's law. But, God loved mankind so much that he gave his only begotten Son to pay a price we don't deserve. The love of God is the greatest thing on earth. We can be a born again Christian and have our sins forgiven through Christ's death for his church.
Help us to TRUST like Noah, have FAITH like Abraham and Sarah, not fall into temptation but be like Joseph and overcome it, weep like Jeremiah for the lost in our world, SING praises to God like David, LOVE the Lord's church like Paul and the other Apostles.
Help the whole world see Jesus in our live. A great and marvelous task but always with overwhelming opportunities in Christ's church. God's love is everywhere. What a blessing.
Help us to have the courage of David, the patience of Job and learn from Solomon the importance of life that God has given us and not live in vanity. Help us love like Ruth, be genuine in our personality and character and love the church because Jesus died in sacrifice for us. Help us offer our bodies a living sacrifice to hold up Jesus' cross to the whole world. THANK YOU LORD! Mema Hazel & Family"
WOW! The only thing I can add to all of that is a hearty AMEN! & HALLELUJAH!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #19
On October 15, 1988 Mom must have sat for several hours writing about her and Dad's families and how they had come to be where they were at the time. His health had been gradually deteriorating but they were still able to enjoy each others company and just being together at home. Here is a small part of what she wrote -
"Now we are older but not OLD!. Life seems to get better and better. Its nice to live with one you love so many years. We help each other in so many ways. In our older years we learn to have more tolerance and generosity toward each other. The thing I miss most is my MIND, so we help each other have a little bit of heaven here on earth. We must work at keeping our lives from corroding and our attitude seems to polish our outlook for good. Our portrait isn't ever finished. We work on it from day to day just to spread our influence around. Personal development is a constant thing to keep us busy.
We never retire from the Lord's work. Adversity is a great polishing agent. We have hardships, but they are part of life. By experience, I have learned from being totally infirm, depending on someone else. The accident on May 6, 1985, threw me at the total mercy of our loved ones around me. I learned so much - how to use a wheelchair and walker to get around. So, to our family, I say never give up when things get tough, just bone-up on your weaknesses and carry on, do what you can.
It isn't how old we are but how we are older. We hope we can leave our lovely, Christian family to develop as examples to their own children and be happy in Christ as we have been over the years. You are our life now and make us overflow with love for you all. Simple things are so rewarding - we live, love, absorb, observe, listen, understand, act, say something, learn, forgive, teach and always are adding something new to our lives. Knowing, growing, going and glowing. We are not a gift but an achievement living and caring for each other. Maintain a spiritual mind."
Recovering from her accident was a long, painful process because her foot and ankle were crushed and had to be re-built by the surgeon. During her long recuperation she and Dad quilted every day. He put up a large quilting frame in the living room and they spent many days together, although I feel pretty certain he did very little actual sewing. They seem to have enjoyed that time though and made some memories that sustained Mom during the long years following his death in 1991.
"Now we are older but not OLD!. Life seems to get better and better. Its nice to live with one you love so many years. We help each other in so many ways. In our older years we learn to have more tolerance and generosity toward each other. The thing I miss most is my MIND, so we help each other have a little bit of heaven here on earth. We must work at keeping our lives from corroding and our attitude seems to polish our outlook for good. Our portrait isn't ever finished. We work on it from day to day just to spread our influence around. Personal development is a constant thing to keep us busy.
We never retire from the Lord's work. Adversity is a great polishing agent. We have hardships, but they are part of life. By experience, I have learned from being totally infirm, depending on someone else. The accident on May 6, 1985, threw me at the total mercy of our loved ones around me. I learned so much - how to use a wheelchair and walker to get around. So, to our family, I say never give up when things get tough, just bone-up on your weaknesses and carry on, do what you can.
It isn't how old we are but how we are older. We hope we can leave our lovely, Christian family to develop as examples to their own children and be happy in Christ as we have been over the years. You are our life now and make us overflow with love for you all. Simple things are so rewarding - we live, love, absorb, observe, listen, understand, act, say something, learn, forgive, teach and always are adding something new to our lives. Knowing, growing, going and glowing. We are not a gift but an achievement living and caring for each other. Maintain a spiritual mind."
Recovering from her accident was a long, painful process because her foot and ankle were crushed and had to be re-built by the surgeon. During her long recuperation she and Dad quilted every day. He put up a large quilting frame in the living room and they spent many days together, although I feel pretty certain he did very little actual sewing. They seem to have enjoyed that time though and made some memories that sustained Mom during the long years following his death in 1991.
Friday, March 25, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #18
My Dad often said that "Hazel Marie" (as he often referred to her) taught him much about love and family. In some ways she was his conscience, as are many wives for their husbands and children. However, he also learned a lot growing up in a large family that had to work hard just to survive.
On his 70th birthday, June 6, 1987, he must have been feeling very nostalgic about his life because he wrote a short piece about his it. This attracted my attention because I too am approaching my 70th birthday in August. I think he wrote this with little or no prodding from Mom. It sounds like him in his later years. But of course, Mema had to comment about it too.
"All to soon you are just a memory. A lifetime is soon over, even if we live to what we think of as an old age. It is unreal that I have been in this world seventy years. It seems just a short time ago when I was a boy living at home with my Mom and Dad also brothers and sisters. We were dirt poor but we did not think of being poor because we had each other.
There comes to mind some great happy times as well as some of trial and sorrow because times were hard in those days. We all worked very hard in those days because it was a matter of survival, we had to eat. One thing our parents drilled into us was no matter what, be honest and truthful, always be fair and even if it literally takes your hide, never lie. I believe these principles are the only thing that will build character in a human being. It never entered my mind to disobey my Dad when he gave me instructions for the days work. It never entered my head to ignore his instructions.
Somehow in those days on Thanksgiving and Christmas we managed to have great feasts. Those were two times in the year we kids would really stretch our bellies and were miserable all afternoon. Those were happy times in our lives. But now even though the old home place is still there, none of the people who were so important are there. Some have gone into the next world, some are scattered here and there, but many great and precious memories are vivid as yesterday.
It is with great pride and comfort to think of our parents who have gone on. They left us very little of the world's goods, however their legacy of good, caring people is priceless. No one could leave their children more than a great name. I pray it can be said truthfully of me, that 'he shared his life and soul with others', and the world was made just a little better by my having been part of it."
Then on November 20, 1996, Mema added this comment to what Dad had written -
"What a beautiful man to live with for 54 1/2 years. Our family now numbers 30+ sweet souls to follow after us. We praise the Lord in thanksgiving for graciously making this great family possible. Without the Lord this was impossible."
I too am very thankful to be where I am at this stage in my life and am thankful to have received from he and Mom the same heritage they both received from their parents and ancestors - a great name, a spiritual heritage and family. HALLELUJAH!
On his 70th birthday, June 6, 1987, he must have been feeling very nostalgic about his life because he wrote a short piece about his it. This attracted my attention because I too am approaching my 70th birthday in August. I think he wrote this with little or no prodding from Mom. It sounds like him in his later years. But of course, Mema had to comment about it too.
"All to soon you are just a memory. A lifetime is soon over, even if we live to what we think of as an old age. It is unreal that I have been in this world seventy years. It seems just a short time ago when I was a boy living at home with my Mom and Dad also brothers and sisters. We were dirt poor but we did not think of being poor because we had each other.
There comes to mind some great happy times as well as some of trial and sorrow because times were hard in those days. We all worked very hard in those days because it was a matter of survival, we had to eat. One thing our parents drilled into us was no matter what, be honest and truthful, always be fair and even if it literally takes your hide, never lie. I believe these principles are the only thing that will build character in a human being. It never entered my mind to disobey my Dad when he gave me instructions for the days work. It never entered my head to ignore his instructions.
Somehow in those days on Thanksgiving and Christmas we managed to have great feasts. Those were two times in the year we kids would really stretch our bellies and were miserable all afternoon. Those were happy times in our lives. But now even though the old home place is still there, none of the people who were so important are there. Some have gone into the next world, some are scattered here and there, but many great and precious memories are vivid as yesterday.
It is with great pride and comfort to think of our parents who have gone on. They left us very little of the world's goods, however their legacy of good, caring people is priceless. No one could leave their children more than a great name. I pray it can be said truthfully of me, that 'he shared his life and soul with others', and the world was made just a little better by my having been part of it."
Then on November 20, 1996, Mema added this comment to what Dad had written -
"What a beautiful man to live with for 54 1/2 years. Our family now numbers 30+ sweet souls to follow after us. We praise the Lord in thanksgiving for graciously making this great family possible. Without the Lord this was impossible."
I too am very thankful to be where I am at this stage in my life and am thankful to have received from he and Mom the same heritage they both received from their parents and ancestors - a great name, a spiritual heritage and family. HALLELUJAH!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #17
When I first moved back to Ky to be with Mom at the end of '06 I spent days and days going through years of accumulation of plastic & paper grocery bags, bread bags, small plastic containers that had held everything from butter to coleslaw and just about everything that can be bought and carried home from Walmart. She sat right there and closely watched every move I made and questioned my decision to throw away virtually all of her pointless saving of more stuff than I would have ever imagined.
I commented about this one night during our small group Bible study and since most of the folks in our group are my age or a bit older, they just laughed at me because they had already been through this too. One dear sister helped me understand it all. She said, "You have to realize that your Mom's generation experienced the Great Depression and learned to keep and repair everything. They threw nothing away, out of necessity." Now that was a 'light bulb' moment for me. I have learned to appreciate the frugality of my parents and respect the environment they had to deal with. BUT, it doesn't make me want to hoard stuff I no longer have any use for in the fear, as Mom said to me over and over, "I MIGHT NEED IT SOMEDAY." At some point you run out of any space to keep all that stuff and it just becomes useless clutter. But, that's just my opinion, not shared by everyone.
On October 26, 1999, Mom wrote something in her journal that underscores the above mindset of what Tom Brokaw described as The Greatest Generation. She titled it BEAUTIFUL ROBE -
"We have had many wonderful holiday seasons as family and Harold and I had our great times too. On December 25, 1980 he gave me a wine colored robe for Christmas. I am wearing the robe right now and have cherished it through all these 19 years. It is still like new and I still wear the same size. That is unbelievable to be 140 lbs and 80 years old, alone for 8 years and still wearing this best gift of my life.
That same holiday I gave him his favorite pair of shoes, which he wore the rest of his life. We were always very practical and enjoyed every day together. Our successful marriage of 54 years together was the BEST! THE VERY BEST!
Now, I live alone in our home enjoying every day and never lonely. We have the best family in the whole wide world. Everywhere they live, we still are very much in touch and much love for each other."
She still has that robe and although she has lost so much weight she hasn't worn it in a few years, it still hangs in her closet. She just kept sewing it back up over the years whenever it required attention. To her it wasn't just an old red robe. It represented something far more important than how it looked or how 'out of style' it might have grown. To her it represented a durable life lived with loving care, the best gift she ever received from her hero.
Today we read and hear often that this generation is the Disposable Generation. We tend to throw everything away if it becomes inconvenient or no longer works the way it once did, or we no longer have any use for it. We buy stuff we cant afford and don't need to impress people we don't even like very much. Maybe we could all take a page from Amazing Mema's book of life and lovingly appreciate the time worn symbols of what truly makes life great. What will you wear, look at or read at 80 years old that still gives you joy and memories that stir something essential in your spirit?
I commented about this one night during our small group Bible study and since most of the folks in our group are my age or a bit older, they just laughed at me because they had already been through this too. One dear sister helped me understand it all. She said, "You have to realize that your Mom's generation experienced the Great Depression and learned to keep and repair everything. They threw nothing away, out of necessity." Now that was a 'light bulb' moment for me. I have learned to appreciate the frugality of my parents and respect the environment they had to deal with. BUT, it doesn't make me want to hoard stuff I no longer have any use for in the fear, as Mom said to me over and over, "I MIGHT NEED IT SOMEDAY." At some point you run out of any space to keep all that stuff and it just becomes useless clutter. But, that's just my opinion, not shared by everyone.
On October 26, 1999, Mom wrote something in her journal that underscores the above mindset of what Tom Brokaw described as The Greatest Generation. She titled it BEAUTIFUL ROBE -
"We have had many wonderful holiday seasons as family and Harold and I had our great times too. On December 25, 1980 he gave me a wine colored robe for Christmas. I am wearing the robe right now and have cherished it through all these 19 years. It is still like new and I still wear the same size. That is unbelievable to be 140 lbs and 80 years old, alone for 8 years and still wearing this best gift of my life.
That same holiday I gave him his favorite pair of shoes, which he wore the rest of his life. We were always very practical and enjoyed every day together. Our successful marriage of 54 years together was the BEST! THE VERY BEST!
Now, I live alone in our home enjoying every day and never lonely. We have the best family in the whole wide world. Everywhere they live, we still are very much in touch and much love for each other."
She still has that robe and although she has lost so much weight she hasn't worn it in a few years, it still hangs in her closet. She just kept sewing it back up over the years whenever it required attention. To her it wasn't just an old red robe. It represented something far more important than how it looked or how 'out of style' it might have grown. To her it represented a durable life lived with loving care, the best gift she ever received from her hero.
Today we read and hear often that this generation is the Disposable Generation. We tend to throw everything away if it becomes inconvenient or no longer works the way it once did, or we no longer have any use for it. We buy stuff we cant afford and don't need to impress people we don't even like very much. Maybe we could all take a page from Amazing Mema's book of life and lovingly appreciate the time worn symbols of what truly makes life great. What will you wear, look at or read at 80 years old that still gives you joy and memories that stir something essential in your spirit?
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #16
A great part of Mom's life has always revolved around the church and serving God. She grew up in that atmosphere on both sides of her family. They were singers, teachers, preachers and shepherds. Her maternal grandfather, Andrew Jackson Pace, was one of the founding members of the church she grew up in. Then her father, her husband, both of her sons and her son-in-law all served God as shepherds in the church.
On May 23, 1996 she wrote a rather long commentary on 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9 both of which describe the kind of men God is looking for to lead his flock. She wrote from many years of experience of watching men in her life take on that leadership role and how it impressed her.
Then one month later on June 24 she continued her train of thought at 4:45 a.m.
"Being an elder's daughter for 25 years and an elder's wife 17 years has been a real school of learning for me. I have the greatest privileges that makes living a joy beyond measure. Our life together as a family is happiness and peaceful living. I'm on my knees in thanksgiving to our Maker who made all this possible for us. We couldn't make it by ourselves so this all had to be coming from a watchful eye above to guide our way.
My life is a series of blessings and in our senior years we just look back in amazement and know the Great Guide, God's word, has to be the answer. I remember in our meeting house at Union Hill the elders put me teaching a class in one corner of that big room at an early age of 16 years old. So, I have many people to thank for their care and interest in me. Growing in Christ takes years of strength in love."
I learned about leadership by watching and listening to my Mom's father. He wanted me to sit beside him at church from the time I was a young boy. We sat on the front row of what was called "The Amen Corner", which was a group of mostly older men. I learned to sing bass and tenor sitting there for years between Granddaddy Sid and Uncle Redic Pace, my grandmother's brother, who was also an elder and song leader.
Granddaddy was my spiritual hero as a youngster. I wanted to be just like him, still do. He was a servant to all and a positive example for me until my own Dad became a Christian.
I understand Amazing Mema's love and respect for church leaders. The only ones she really knew were the same men she lived with and observed virtually every day. Over the years I have been privileged to know some truly great men of God and have tried to learn from all of them. And, that all began in a small country church in Marshall County Kentucky, the same one Amazing Mema began her career as a Bible teacher at the wise old age of 16. HALLELUJAH!
On May 23, 1996 she wrote a rather long commentary on 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9 both of which describe the kind of men God is looking for to lead his flock. She wrote from many years of experience of watching men in her life take on that leadership role and how it impressed her.
Then one month later on June 24 she continued her train of thought at 4:45 a.m.
"Being an elder's daughter for 25 years and an elder's wife 17 years has been a real school of learning for me. I have the greatest privileges that makes living a joy beyond measure. Our life together as a family is happiness and peaceful living. I'm on my knees in thanksgiving to our Maker who made all this possible for us. We couldn't make it by ourselves so this all had to be coming from a watchful eye above to guide our way.
My life is a series of blessings and in our senior years we just look back in amazement and know the Great Guide, God's word, has to be the answer. I remember in our meeting house at Union Hill the elders put me teaching a class in one corner of that big room at an early age of 16 years old. So, I have many people to thank for their care and interest in me. Growing in Christ takes years of strength in love."
I learned about leadership by watching and listening to my Mom's father. He wanted me to sit beside him at church from the time I was a young boy. We sat on the front row of what was called "The Amen Corner", which was a group of mostly older men. I learned to sing bass and tenor sitting there for years between Granddaddy Sid and Uncle Redic Pace, my grandmother's brother, who was also an elder and song leader.
Granddaddy was my spiritual hero as a youngster. I wanted to be just like him, still do. He was a servant to all and a positive example for me until my own Dad became a Christian.
I understand Amazing Mema's love and respect for church leaders. The only ones she really knew were the same men she lived with and observed virtually every day. Over the years I have been privileged to know some truly great men of God and have tried to learn from all of them. And, that all began in a small country church in Marshall County Kentucky, the same one Amazing Mema began her career as a Bible teacher at the wise old age of 16. HALLELUJAH!
Monday, March 21, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #15
On Sept 23, 1994 Mom had a Mammogram which prompted her doctor to order a biopsy for her left side on 9/27. Then they decided to also biopsy her right side on October 4. The determination was that she had cancer in both breasts so on October 11 she had a double mastectomy. Six days later she came home from the hospital and began writing all of this in her journal.
She recorded the names of EVERYONE who visited her both in the hospital and at home with a note of what they brought, mostly the food! According to her journal she had 76 visitors, received 135 cards and 11 vases of flowers.
Her journal entry for May 30, 1996 is a testament to how she has survived almost eighteen years following breast cancer. I feel certain she was still celebrating her and Dad's wedding anniversary even though he had been gone almost 5 years. And, although she doesn't mention her surgery specifically it was obviously still a very present reality for her. Her words are also a testament to the lasting value of love, family and faith. She gave this the title - "OUR LOVING FAMILY"
"From the time our children were born, we never stopped caring or being concerned for their well-being. The older they grow we want all our dear loving family to be happy and well. We could never stop being concerned for them no matter where they are in the whole world. We never stop caring or taking them to God in prayer. I call all of them by name, afraid I will forget their names. I thank God I can still do that. They are our dear loving children until I'm gone to meet their sweet Dad, Harold Thomas Sutherland.
We have tried to give our family a knowledge of the GOOD LIFE, to make their own decisions about what is right and wrong. In our young years of marriage we had hoped and prayed for this even though we didn't understand it all until our senior years.
I'm very sure God has known our hearts from the beginning of our tender years of marriage because our life has been rich in love and devotion. We both learned that from our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Harold told me many times how his Dad and Mom taught him to work hard to survive. He did just that all his beautiful life. The best thing that happened to us was when we were married and had our family. They are our life, completely. We have tried to make every one in our loving family know heaven is our goal through faith in God, every day living and learning to be a genuine, whole person in Jesus Christ, following His example. A life of happiness and contentment is in store for all of us and the whole world."
On March 3, 2000 she wrote - "Into my fifth year since the DOUBLE WHAMMY and doing fine. Haven't seen a doctor in two years. Feeling really well and happy to be going about my business and taking care of myself."
In September of 2006 I came to spend a week with Mom. She had always been a very strong, decisive person and a leader in every way. During that visit I saw how the Alzheimer's was beginning to put her in real danger so I called the Rose and told her it was time for us to come. My sister, Phyllecia and her husband Bob and their family had done an outstanding job of assisting Mom as she slowly slid downward into a very different way of life. But she now needed someone living with her. We had talked to her about coming to be with us in Dallas, but that just wasn't an option she wanted to talk about. So, we sold out and moved in with her.
Now we visit her daily in the nursing home and still see and hear the spark that has always made her special. She is loved by all her family and everyone who has known she and Dad over the years. I praise God that we all are around her now in her final days, just as my Dad wanted and had requested of me. HALLELUJAH!
She recorded the names of EVERYONE who visited her both in the hospital and at home with a note of what they brought, mostly the food! According to her journal she had 76 visitors, received 135 cards and 11 vases of flowers.
Her journal entry for May 30, 1996 is a testament to how she has survived almost eighteen years following breast cancer. I feel certain she was still celebrating her and Dad's wedding anniversary even though he had been gone almost 5 years. And, although she doesn't mention her surgery specifically it was obviously still a very present reality for her. Her words are also a testament to the lasting value of love, family and faith. She gave this the title - "OUR LOVING FAMILY"
"From the time our children were born, we never stopped caring or being concerned for their well-being. The older they grow we want all our dear loving family to be happy and well. We could never stop being concerned for them no matter where they are in the whole world. We never stop caring or taking them to God in prayer. I call all of them by name, afraid I will forget their names. I thank God I can still do that. They are our dear loving children until I'm gone to meet their sweet Dad, Harold Thomas Sutherland.
We have tried to give our family a knowledge of the GOOD LIFE, to make their own decisions about what is right and wrong. In our young years of marriage we had hoped and prayed for this even though we didn't understand it all until our senior years.
I'm very sure God has known our hearts from the beginning of our tender years of marriage because our life has been rich in love and devotion. We both learned that from our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Harold told me many times how his Dad and Mom taught him to work hard to survive. He did just that all his beautiful life. The best thing that happened to us was when we were married and had our family. They are our life, completely. We have tried to make every one in our loving family know heaven is our goal through faith in God, every day living and learning to be a genuine, whole person in Jesus Christ, following His example. A life of happiness and contentment is in store for all of us and the whole world."
On March 3, 2000 she wrote - "Into my fifth year since the DOUBLE WHAMMY and doing fine. Haven't seen a doctor in two years. Feeling really well and happy to be going about my business and taking care of myself."
In September of 2006 I came to spend a week with Mom. She had always been a very strong, decisive person and a leader in every way. During that visit I saw how the Alzheimer's was beginning to put her in real danger so I called the Rose and told her it was time for us to come. My sister, Phyllecia and her husband Bob and their family had done an outstanding job of assisting Mom as she slowly slid downward into a very different way of life. But she now needed someone living with her. We had talked to her about coming to be with us in Dallas, but that just wasn't an option she wanted to talk about. So, we sold out and moved in with her.
Now we visit her daily in the nursing home and still see and hear the spark that has always made her special. She is loved by all her family and everyone who has known she and Dad over the years. I praise God that we all are around her now in her final days, just as my Dad wanted and had requested of me. HALLELUJAH!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #14
May 23, 1996 was a memorable day for Mema for several reasons - it was the 59th anniversary of her marriage to Dad, who had been gone nearly 5 years. She also learned later in the day that the house my Dad had grown up in had burned in the early hours. She and Dad lived with his family after they were married and she really loved being with that family. In this piece she is remembering those days with the Sutherlands.
"Harold and I in our last years on this earth decided we made the best choice (to slip off to Illinois to get married)looking back through all our 54+ years together. We have no regrets at all and I have been alone now nearly 5 years. He lived his last days a very happy man even through all his illness and suffering.
Our family of 31 are a happy bunch, the newest member is due in August to Michael and Annette. What a great event for our family to anticipate. But, we miss "Frosty", oh yes! Today the house Harold grew up in burned to the ground. We had some great homecomings in that house. Lots of holidays - good food - happy times. Pa and Grandma were wonderful to me and I loved them dearly. Grandma Grace was Dr E.G. Thomas' daughter and he delivered all eight of her children at home in that house.
I was so happy to be in Harold's fine family so I had real good teachers in family life with my Mom and Dad. My Dad had eight brothers and sisters and my Mom had seven in her family. I really grew up in the greatest family environment of loving and living in joy and hard work. I rocked many babies in my lifetime. As a child I learned what I really wanted out of life. Being a mother and wife has been the big joy to me and a deep reality of well being. I'm sure now this was my ambition growing up. Harold was my dream come true and we hope our lovely family to be as happy homemakers as we are!
God has made us married forever, truly. This isn't possible without the Lord Jesus Christ and his church. I am on my knees in thanksgiving and my trust is growing stronger every day. Half of me is already gone and I hope someday to take up our life together again. Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, are all we will take out of God's beautiful world."
I have been privileged over the years to be in the presence some beautiful, faithful people as they breathed their last in this world. The opportunity to minister to them and their families and to learn from them has been one of the true blessings of a half century of ministry. I can firmly say that I have never seen a person of true faith die in fear! That is a gift from God through his Holy Spirit, made possible by the love of Jesus Christ for all the human family. Amazing Mema has prepared her heart to see beyond the grave we will someday place her body in. HALLELUJAH!
"Harold and I in our last years on this earth decided we made the best choice (to slip off to Illinois to get married)looking back through all our 54+ years together. We have no regrets at all and I have been alone now nearly 5 years. He lived his last days a very happy man even through all his illness and suffering.
Our family of 31 are a happy bunch, the newest member is due in August to Michael and Annette. What a great event for our family to anticipate. But, we miss "Frosty", oh yes! Today the house Harold grew up in burned to the ground. We had some great homecomings in that house. Lots of holidays - good food - happy times. Pa and Grandma were wonderful to me and I loved them dearly. Grandma Grace was Dr E.G. Thomas' daughter and he delivered all eight of her children at home in that house.
I was so happy to be in Harold's fine family so I had real good teachers in family life with my Mom and Dad. My Dad had eight brothers and sisters and my Mom had seven in her family. I really grew up in the greatest family environment of loving and living in joy and hard work. I rocked many babies in my lifetime. As a child I learned what I really wanted out of life. Being a mother and wife has been the big joy to me and a deep reality of well being. I'm sure now this was my ambition growing up. Harold was my dream come true and we hope our lovely family to be as happy homemakers as we are!
God has made us married forever, truly. This isn't possible without the Lord Jesus Christ and his church. I am on my knees in thanksgiving and my trust is growing stronger every day. Half of me is already gone and I hope someday to take up our life together again. Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, are all we will take out of God's beautiful world."
I have been privileged over the years to be in the presence some beautiful, faithful people as they breathed their last in this world. The opportunity to minister to them and their families and to learn from them has been one of the true blessings of a half century of ministry. I can firmly say that I have never seen a person of true faith die in fear! That is a gift from God through his Holy Spirit, made possible by the love of Jesus Christ for all the human family. Amazing Mema has prepared her heart to see beyond the grave we will someday place her body in. HALLELUJAH!
Friday, March 18, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #13
Mema was involved in a serious vehicle collision in early 80's when she and her grandson's wife hit each other head-on just south of Benton on a narrow two-lane highway. The crash shattered her right ankle which had to be reconstructed. During her recuperation she began making quilts for all the family. She had actually begun this hobby a few years before but the accident made her virtually a 'shut-in' for a long time, so she quilted - every day. She made quilts for all of us including the grandchildren and great grandchildren, more than 30 in all.
The last quilt she made was really special to her because she and Dad worked on it together. They began the project on April 1, 1991 but had to suspend work on it because Dad's condition slowly worsened over the summer and he passed away in October that year. Mom finally completed the quilt in January 1992.
I want to share two special pieces Mom wrote about this quilt, she called it - "AMERICANA" because of how she designed it. It measures 98"x100". Here is what she wrote.
"Harold and I decided for this quilt to be handed down to Michael Kent (mine & Rosie's son in Dallas, Tx) because he is our only one in the family to carry on the Sutherland name. The AMERICANA quilt was entered in the Texas State Fair in October 1992. Kent came to Kentucky and picked me up to go to Texas so I could see my quilt there. I got to go to the Fair twice and see my quilt hanging there with so many others. I also got my picture made standing there with my yellow ribbon on the quilt. The AMERICANA QUILT symbolizes America, USA, with its red, white and blue colors. It has embroidery work of all 50 states, each with its state flower and birds on 50 blocks of white material and one large block white block of embroidery of United States, Alaska and Hawaii."
On January 25, 1992 after she had completed the quilt, Mom also wrote her own kind of poem that sort of explains her motivation for quilting it. She titled it
"OUR USA AMERICANA" -
"I'm so in love with USA Americana,
My home is in a small corner of her world,
Living is the greatest in freedom she portrays
At every point from sea to sea and land to land.
Each state with character and personality,
Showing their state bird and flower,
To spread her happiness with song and beauty,
She shines a light over the whole world.
So SING OUT Americans, we are listening,
Enjoying your freedom and flying your colors."
Americana speaks to the whole world,
A nation of hard working people,
A compassionate friend to everyone,
Her colors flying red, white and blue,
Her beauty blazing in floral hue,
Her song birds singing in our country on cue.
To future generations, please take care,
Dedicate yourselves to make Americana speak true,
Spread her patriotism all around you,
Smile on her gently in loving review,
Our country AMERICANA speaks on for all mankind."
Both Mom and Dad were proud to have their two sons serve our country in the US Navy. Dave and I are proud to have been blessed with parents who understood and made us aware of what we have as citizens of a free society. Democracy has always been a bit messy, even from the very beginning, but in my travels around the world I truly saw how special our democracy is. Even today there are people in the middle east fighting the fight our forefathers achieved centuries ago. But, the daily maintenance of our freedom is still pretty messy and certainly worth the risks and the effort required. HALLELUJAH!
The last quilt she made was really special to her because she and Dad worked on it together. They began the project on April 1, 1991 but had to suspend work on it because Dad's condition slowly worsened over the summer and he passed away in October that year. Mom finally completed the quilt in January 1992.
I want to share two special pieces Mom wrote about this quilt, she called it - "AMERICANA" because of how she designed it. It measures 98"x100". Here is what she wrote.
"Harold and I decided for this quilt to be handed down to Michael Kent (mine & Rosie's son in Dallas, Tx) because he is our only one in the family to carry on the Sutherland name. The AMERICANA quilt was entered in the Texas State Fair in October 1992. Kent came to Kentucky and picked me up to go to Texas so I could see my quilt there. I got to go to the Fair twice and see my quilt hanging there with so many others. I also got my picture made standing there with my yellow ribbon on the quilt. The AMERICANA QUILT symbolizes America, USA, with its red, white and blue colors. It has embroidery work of all 50 states, each with its state flower and birds on 50 blocks of white material and one large block white block of embroidery of United States, Alaska and Hawaii."
On January 25, 1992 after she had completed the quilt, Mom also wrote her own kind of poem that sort of explains her motivation for quilting it. She titled it
"OUR USA AMERICANA" -
"I'm so in love with USA Americana,
My home is in a small corner of her world,
Living is the greatest in freedom she portrays
At every point from sea to sea and land to land.
Each state with character and personality,
Showing their state bird and flower,
To spread her happiness with song and beauty,
She shines a light over the whole world.
So SING OUT Americans, we are listening,
Enjoying your freedom and flying your colors."
Americana speaks to the whole world,
A nation of hard working people,
A compassionate friend to everyone,
Her colors flying red, white and blue,
Her beauty blazing in floral hue,
Her song birds singing in our country on cue.
To future generations, please take care,
Dedicate yourselves to make Americana speak true,
Spread her patriotism all around you,
Smile on her gently in loving review,
Our country AMERICANA speaks on for all mankind."
Both Mom and Dad were proud to have their two sons serve our country in the US Navy. Dave and I are proud to have been blessed with parents who understood and made us aware of what we have as citizens of a free society. Democracy has always been a bit messy, even from the very beginning, but in my travels around the world I truly saw how special our democracy is. Even today there are people in the middle east fighting the fight our forefathers achieved centuries ago. But, the daily maintenance of our freedom is still pretty messy and certainly worth the risks and the effort required. HALLELUJAH!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #12
Like many married couples my parents were very different personalities. My Dad was a quiet, strong person with a very dry sense of humor. He grew up in a large farming family with three brothers and four sisters and worked hard in the fields from the time he could plow with a horse. They had no indoor plumbing and no electricity until long after I was born in 1941. I too drew many buckets of water from their well and made the trip to their "two hole" outhouse often in my younger years.
My mom however, although born in the country, was mostly raised in Paducah. She was always the life of every party and never met a stranger. And, she grew up with electricity, running water and an indoor bathroom all her life. After she and my Dad married in 1937, they built a house near her parents home that had electricity and running water but no indoor bathroom. As a kid I mostly bathed in the creek behind our house until the weather turned too cold.
All of this background is to help my readers understand what we all call THE BATHROOM STORY which my Dad loved to tell all the grandchildren. After I started school Mom began to lobby my Dad to install a bathroom. He balked because he was the kind of person who would never buy anything if he didn't have the cash to pay for it. So, he kept putting her off until they could save up enough money for the purchase and installation of the plumbing and fixtures. So, Amazing Mema took matters into hand and got her a job in Mayfield at the Merit Clothing Company. After a few years she decided she couldn't do without a bathroom any longer and one day on her lunch break went to Montgomery Ward in Mayfield and bought, on credit, all the fixtures for her bathroom. A few days later all those fixtures were delivered to our home and Dad came home from work that day to find the front porch crowded with all these huge boxes sitting everywhere. He asked my Mom what all of this was and she told him, "That's our new bathroom". He asked how she had paid for it and she replied, "Well, I charged it." He immediately hit the ceiling and told her, "Okay then I will go to town and sell the car to pay for it and if you want to go somewhere I'll put you a steering wheel on that toilet." of course he never did that because Mom had a way of talking him into her way of seeing things and it didn't take long before he had her bathroom up and running.
In her journal entry from 10/19/1998 she wrote this account that demonstrates just who she is and always has been.
"Harold and I moved to Paducah in 1943 to be nearer his work at the railroad shops. There was a great flood in 1937 that spread all over the city and in the spring of 1946 the big Ohio river was getting too high for comfort. I caught the city bus to go downtown and see for myself. When Harold got home from work that day I was all packed up to move back to our house in Marshall county. Pa Sutherland came with his truck and moved us back home."
These two stories really illustrate Hazel Marie Darnall Sutherland. Even now at nearly 92 and in a nursing home, if she makes up her mind about almost anything, trying to change it is usually futile, because she has always been mostly right and she knows it. That isn't necessarily an undesirable trait. After all she waited very patiently for a long time to get her bathroom and when she realized it just wasn't going to happen she made it happen. I have no idea how many discussions she and Dad had about moving back to their home in Marshall county, but to her it was the only right thing to do at the time and she made it happen.
She has always been the The Wife of Noble Character described in much detail by King Lemuel at Proverbs 31. Both of mine and Rosie's daughters are very much like her because they grew up with her fiery spirit, can-do attitude and gracious friendliness. I praise God for that blessing today more than ever. HALLELUJAH!
My mom however, although born in the country, was mostly raised in Paducah. She was always the life of every party and never met a stranger. And, she grew up with electricity, running water and an indoor bathroom all her life. After she and my Dad married in 1937, they built a house near her parents home that had electricity and running water but no indoor bathroom. As a kid I mostly bathed in the creek behind our house until the weather turned too cold.
All of this background is to help my readers understand what we all call THE BATHROOM STORY which my Dad loved to tell all the grandchildren. After I started school Mom began to lobby my Dad to install a bathroom. He balked because he was the kind of person who would never buy anything if he didn't have the cash to pay for it. So, he kept putting her off until they could save up enough money for the purchase and installation of the plumbing and fixtures. So, Amazing Mema took matters into hand and got her a job in Mayfield at the Merit Clothing Company. After a few years she decided she couldn't do without a bathroom any longer and one day on her lunch break went to Montgomery Ward in Mayfield and bought, on credit, all the fixtures for her bathroom. A few days later all those fixtures were delivered to our home and Dad came home from work that day to find the front porch crowded with all these huge boxes sitting everywhere. He asked my Mom what all of this was and she told him, "That's our new bathroom". He asked how she had paid for it and she replied, "Well, I charged it." He immediately hit the ceiling and told her, "Okay then I will go to town and sell the car to pay for it and if you want to go somewhere I'll put you a steering wheel on that toilet." of course he never did that because Mom had a way of talking him into her way of seeing things and it didn't take long before he had her bathroom up and running.
In her journal entry from 10/19/1998 she wrote this account that demonstrates just who she is and always has been.
"Harold and I moved to Paducah in 1943 to be nearer his work at the railroad shops. There was a great flood in 1937 that spread all over the city and in the spring of 1946 the big Ohio river was getting too high for comfort. I caught the city bus to go downtown and see for myself. When Harold got home from work that day I was all packed up to move back to our house in Marshall county. Pa Sutherland came with his truck and moved us back home."
These two stories really illustrate Hazel Marie Darnall Sutherland. Even now at nearly 92 and in a nursing home, if she makes up her mind about almost anything, trying to change it is usually futile, because she has always been mostly right and she knows it. That isn't necessarily an undesirable trait. After all she waited very patiently for a long time to get her bathroom and when she realized it just wasn't going to happen she made it happen. I have no idea how many discussions she and Dad had about moving back to their home in Marshall county, but to her it was the only right thing to do at the time and she made it happen.
She has always been the The Wife of Noble Character described in much detail by King Lemuel at Proverbs 31. Both of mine and Rosie's daughters are very much like her because they grew up with her fiery spirit, can-do attitude and gracious friendliness. I praise God for that blessing today more than ever. HALLELUJAH!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #11
A happy home is a constant challenge for all married couples especially with young children who demand immediate attention nearly every minute. I'm sure I had some days as a kid and teenager that were not very happy but I can't really recall them. I guess they have been overshadowed by the happy ones, mostly because Mom and Dad and extended family were always on the job!
On March 10, 1982 Mom wrote this "Recipe For A Happy Home" which made me laugh because of how she portioned the ingredients - (she may have copied it from some magazine or church bulletin she was reading but she didn't say so)
"4 cups of Love
2 cups of Loyalty
3 cups of Forgiveness
1 cup of Friendship
5 spoons of Hope
2 spoons of Tenderness
4 quarts of Faith
1 barrel of Laughter
Take Love and Loyalty and mix thoroughly with Faith.
Blend in Tenderness, Kindness and Understanding
Add Friendship and Hope then sprinkle abundantly with Laughter.
Bake it with lots of sunshine then serve daily with generous helpings."
My Dad wasn't big on writing cards or letters but I found this piece he wrote in one of Mom's journals. I have tried to imagine the conversation that occurred between them before he wrote this because I feel certain Mom kept after him to do it until he finally agreed just to get her to leave him alone. All the family will get this but those of you who didn't know them well may not see behind the scenes. My Dad did many things he didn't really want to just to please Mom and avoid being badgered into it anyway. None of this was ever 'mean-spirited', just their way of dancing around each other. We all do it to some extent.
"Who am I? Nobody really, as far as the world is concerned. There will never be a monument erected in memory of me. But, I am somebody because of many reasons. The number one reason is my beautiful wife Hazel. In my mind she has been the one person who changed me and turned my world upside down by her patience and loving kindness.
On June 6, 1917 I was born Harold Thomas Sutherland to Floyd and Grace Sutherland in the county of Marshall in West Kentucky.
I was one of eight children, four boys and four girls. My mother was a great, strong woman to have raised so many wild, hungry kids. Some of my earliest memories go back a long way. I was the oldest boy and I did NOT think that was a very good thing as far as I was concerned. I was the one called on to do all the chores and there were many."
And that's it. Characteristic of him, Dad just couldn't come up with what else to say so he just quit writing. But, he said what he wanted to say about his Mom and his wife and those few words speak volumes about how he respected both of them.
Amazing Mema loved being in the center of the big Sutherland family and wrote much about the early days of marriage when she and Dad lived with them.
On April 12, 2000, Mom wrote this beneath the above passage written by my Dad -
"I read and re-read all the nice writings of truth in love by our beloved "Frosty". he was our light of life itself. We had him 54+ years to guide us in Christian love and hope. I have hope we will join again in a better world. Half of me went with him (when he died in 1991). I am thankful to still be here in much good memories and not grievous but have happiness in our darling family of 34 people."
Heritage is what one generation leaves behind for the ones who follow. To me the word encompasses qualities, values, beliefs and morals. Monetary inheritance can also be a part of ones heritage but the intangibles are of much greater value. My sister, my brother and I have been made rich by the heritage passed on to us from several generations of ancestors who lived honestly before the world and always in faith in God. I told India Sullivan, my oldest granddaughter, when she was baptized as a young teen, that she is the first of 7 generations in my family who have served God and I praised her for setting that example for the next generation.
Thank you Frosty and Amazing Mema for that everlasting heritage. Your faith in God and love for each other have truly paid off in a big way! Jesus is smiling on you.
On March 10, 1982 Mom wrote this "Recipe For A Happy Home" which made me laugh because of how she portioned the ingredients - (she may have copied it from some magazine or church bulletin she was reading but she didn't say so)
"4 cups of Love
2 cups of Loyalty
3 cups of Forgiveness
1 cup of Friendship
5 spoons of Hope
2 spoons of Tenderness
4 quarts of Faith
1 barrel of Laughter
Take Love and Loyalty and mix thoroughly with Faith.
Blend in Tenderness, Kindness and Understanding
Add Friendship and Hope then sprinkle abundantly with Laughter.
Bake it with lots of sunshine then serve daily with generous helpings."
My Dad wasn't big on writing cards or letters but I found this piece he wrote in one of Mom's journals. I have tried to imagine the conversation that occurred between them before he wrote this because I feel certain Mom kept after him to do it until he finally agreed just to get her to leave him alone. All the family will get this but those of you who didn't know them well may not see behind the scenes. My Dad did many things he didn't really want to just to please Mom and avoid being badgered into it anyway. None of this was ever 'mean-spirited', just their way of dancing around each other. We all do it to some extent.
"Who am I? Nobody really, as far as the world is concerned. There will never be a monument erected in memory of me. But, I am somebody because of many reasons. The number one reason is my beautiful wife Hazel. In my mind she has been the one person who changed me and turned my world upside down by her patience and loving kindness.
On June 6, 1917 I was born Harold Thomas Sutherland to Floyd and Grace Sutherland in the county of Marshall in West Kentucky.
I was one of eight children, four boys and four girls. My mother was a great, strong woman to have raised so many wild, hungry kids. Some of my earliest memories go back a long way. I was the oldest boy and I did NOT think that was a very good thing as far as I was concerned. I was the one called on to do all the chores and there were many."
And that's it. Characteristic of him, Dad just couldn't come up with what else to say so he just quit writing. But, he said what he wanted to say about his Mom and his wife and those few words speak volumes about how he respected both of them.
Amazing Mema loved being in the center of the big Sutherland family and wrote much about the early days of marriage when she and Dad lived with them.
On April 12, 2000, Mom wrote this beneath the above passage written by my Dad -
"I read and re-read all the nice writings of truth in love by our beloved "Frosty". he was our light of life itself. We had him 54+ years to guide us in Christian love and hope. I have hope we will join again in a better world. Half of me went with him (when he died in 1991). I am thankful to still be here in much good memories and not grievous but have happiness in our darling family of 34 people."
Heritage is what one generation leaves behind for the ones who follow. To me the word encompasses qualities, values, beliefs and morals. Monetary inheritance can also be a part of ones heritage but the intangibles are of much greater value. My sister, my brother and I have been made rich by the heritage passed on to us from several generations of ancestors who lived honestly before the world and always in faith in God. I told India Sullivan, my oldest granddaughter, when she was baptized as a young teen, that she is the first of 7 generations in my family who have served God and I praised her for setting that example for the next generation.
Thank you Frosty and Amazing Mema for that everlasting heritage. Your faith in God and love for each other have truly paid off in a big way! Jesus is smiling on you.
Monday, March 14, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #10
Dad and Mom were married fifty four and one half years when he passed away in October of 1991. He had really struggled with Rheumatoid arthritis for about 25 years and in his last 5 or so years it became steadily more debilitating. Mom was right there "hovering" over him day and night through it all.
They married on May 23 and in her journals Mom always wrote some type of commemoration of that day. Here are a couple of those entries that you might find interesting.
"Today (1996) we have been married 59 years. That is amazing to even think about. We never tried to set any records, we just lived to the best of our abilities and with our trust in God. God just had to make the way for our good living because we married very young - I was 17 and Harold was 19. Our parents must have really worried about us because of Harold's terrible accident in losing his left eye in March of 1937. That was tragic to us all but on May 23 that same year we slipped off with some close friends and got married. Those days were all fun to us, even now remembering it was Big Singing Day in Benton, Ky. We left the singing together and took a ferry boat across the river to Metropolis, Ill, found a man at the courthouse and he married us, a Justice of the Peace. Harold and I, in our last years on this earth, decided we made the best choice looking back on all our years together."
In 1999 on their 62 year anniversary, Mom wrote these words -
"Most people have a big blast and expensive weddings. Ours was a big blast and a wonderful time to be alive - happy and just came naturally for two people who had been together, dating for two years. We had fifty four and one half years together. Our blessed family is the greatest legacy of living the Good Life.
We have always striven to do our best in caring about each other and to know how to live happy together as a dedicated family. Not easy, but necessary! We have had great examples living before us to follow our Good Life.
My years and having NO REGRETS as Harold always said, has been much love and happiness and peaceful time to remember. I know the Good Life, and living is a consolation to me and hopefully all our beautiful family of 33 people."
Mom's dad was NOT happy they slipped off and got married. He told me once that he just wanted to see her become a lawyer and he knew when she married my dad that was never going to happen. Mom always said that my Dad was her diploma and all she ever wanted was to be a wife and mother and take care of her family. Mom and Dad lived with his parents for a while after they married because her Dad was so unhappy with their marriage. But, after a little time passed my Grandad's disappointment began to fade and they were able to stay with her parents too until my sister was born.
Family is the glue that holds any society together. God intended it that way and when we allow His love and His guidance to take us by the hand and lead us into a way of life that He designed before He even made the universe, it works. Every time!
They married on May 23 and in her journals Mom always wrote some type of commemoration of that day. Here are a couple of those entries that you might find interesting.
"Today (1996) we have been married 59 years. That is amazing to even think about. We never tried to set any records, we just lived to the best of our abilities and with our trust in God. God just had to make the way for our good living because we married very young - I was 17 and Harold was 19. Our parents must have really worried about us because of Harold's terrible accident in losing his left eye in March of 1937. That was tragic to us all but on May 23 that same year we slipped off with some close friends and got married. Those days were all fun to us, even now remembering it was Big Singing Day in Benton, Ky. We left the singing together and took a ferry boat across the river to Metropolis, Ill, found a man at the courthouse and he married us, a Justice of the Peace. Harold and I, in our last years on this earth, decided we made the best choice looking back on all our years together."
In 1999 on their 62 year anniversary, Mom wrote these words -
"Most people have a big blast and expensive weddings. Ours was a big blast and a wonderful time to be alive - happy and just came naturally for two people who had been together, dating for two years. We had fifty four and one half years together. Our blessed family is the greatest legacy of living the Good Life.
We have always striven to do our best in caring about each other and to know how to live happy together as a dedicated family. Not easy, but necessary! We have had great examples living before us to follow our Good Life.
My years and having NO REGRETS as Harold always said, has been much love and happiness and peaceful time to remember. I know the Good Life, and living is a consolation to me and hopefully all our beautiful family of 33 people."
Mom's dad was NOT happy they slipped off and got married. He told me once that he just wanted to see her become a lawyer and he knew when she married my dad that was never going to happen. Mom always said that my Dad was her diploma and all she ever wanted was to be a wife and mother and take care of her family. Mom and Dad lived with his parents for a while after they married because her Dad was so unhappy with their marriage. But, after a little time passed my Grandad's disappointment began to fade and they were able to stay with her parents too until my sister was born.
Family is the glue that holds any society together. God intended it that way and when we allow His love and His guidance to take us by the hand and lead us into a way of life that He designed before He even made the universe, it works. Every time!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #9
Mom has always loved birds. She loved to watch them on her feeders and scratching around in the snow. Since she has lived most of her adult life within in spittin' distance of the creek and the woods, she has had ample opportunity to observe them. One thing she enjoyed was educating all the grandchildren with her bird books. She even gave certain types of birds her own names. Here is an example from her journal entry dated October 18, 1999. She gave it the title "Lovey Dovey".
"Some of my friends express themselves as being lonely and blue. I know I have to be very fortunate because my days are full of friends and I am never lonely or depressed. Just today I observed two doves in the sycamore tree by the creek, just fluttering around. I timed them in that spot for more than one hour. They must have come a long way and really rested side by side. I looked away occasionally to keep from getting cross-eyed. But it was nice to just watch how they sat there together for so long a time.
When we see nature as I do from our living room while watching TV, its great and I regret that I don't know how to write about it in story form. That sure would be nice because I see so much from my chair looking out on the world. Right now I am watching a little wren trying to build on my front porch.
I named the two doves, Lovey and Dovey."
Solomon wrote - "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears her down." Proverbs 14:1 NIV
I am one of those fortunate ones to have had a "wise" mother who appreciated things that are truly worthwhile. She "built her house" on a foundation of faith in God and genuine love for others, including insignificant birds. Many people would never see the value of sitting still to observe two doves in a tree for an hour. But, Amazing Mema saw so much more than two birds in a tree. She saw them as visitors to her world and she welcomed them just like she would any human visitors who stopped by to say "hello". I love that about her as does our whole family.
"Some of my friends express themselves as being lonely and blue. I know I have to be very fortunate because my days are full of friends and I am never lonely or depressed. Just today I observed two doves in the sycamore tree by the creek, just fluttering around. I timed them in that spot for more than one hour. They must have come a long way and really rested side by side. I looked away occasionally to keep from getting cross-eyed. But it was nice to just watch how they sat there together for so long a time.
When we see nature as I do from our living room while watching TV, its great and I regret that I don't know how to write about it in story form. That sure would be nice because I see so much from my chair looking out on the world. Right now I am watching a little wren trying to build on my front porch.
I named the two doves, Lovey and Dovey."
Solomon wrote - "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears her down." Proverbs 14:1 NIV
I am one of those fortunate ones to have had a "wise" mother who appreciated things that are truly worthwhile. She "built her house" on a foundation of faith in God and genuine love for others, including insignificant birds. Many people would never see the value of sitting still to observe two doves in a tree for an hour. But, Amazing Mema saw so much more than two birds in a tree. She saw them as visitors to her world and she welcomed them just like she would any human visitors who stopped by to say "hello". I love that about her as does our whole family.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #8
Mom worked as a volunteer teacher's helper at South Marshall Elementary School for two years. She always loved being around children and sought out this opportunity to be with them in a classroom setting. She knew most of them and their parents and had two of her own great granddaughters in class during those years.
On March 12, 1990 she wrote a piece she titled - "Being Happier" - which seems to me to be directed to her grandchildren and great grandchildren. I am certain her time at the school with the young kids brought all this to mind. I share it with you here because it is typical of her wit, humor and wisdom.
"We should all learn to be happier by getting back to the basics, going back to the principles we learned in Kindergarten. This concept of life is thought of as a school for children to develop mental, moral and physical traits by games and activities that make use of their natural tendency to express themselves in action.
Share everything - Play fair - Don't hit people - Put things back where you found them - Clean up your own mess - Don't take things that aren't yours - Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody - Wash your hands before you eat - Flush the toilet - Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work some every day.
Take a nap every afternoon and when you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together - be alert at all times, Stop - Look - Listen!
Always remember the Golden Rule "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
Love - Sane living - Ecology - Personal hygiene and Equality are all important things to keep clean and eliminate the spread of disease in our world.
When we apply these principles that we have known all our lives we have better families, better government and a much better world. They hold true and clear and are a firm foundation to a happier life in all simplicity. Train our children with the basics. Frosty & Mema"
Mom tried very hard to keep me clean all my life. My grandaddy (her father) told me many times he feared she would wash and scrub all my hide off when I was a young kid. I have memories from early childhood when she would dress me in a starched white shirt and bow tie with short pants and always shined shoes to go to church on Sunday. At some point I finally grew enough that she relaxed her "church clothes" rule and allowed me to at least wear long pants.
I will have to say that to some extent it must have rubbed off on me because one of the primary reasons the Rose told me she agreed to go out with me was that I had clean fingernails, shined shoes and smelled good. In those days I wore English Leather because I never really cared much for Old Spice (my Mom's choice for me) and those were about the only two men's fragrances available at the time.
Solomon wrote - "The lips of the righteous nourish many" and "The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom." Proverbs 10:21,31 NIV
I praise my heavenly Father for a righteous, amazing Mema who, even as a young mother, had the wisdom to teach me the principles she recited above in her journal. I heard those words many, many times and only really learned to appreciate them when I too had children to train.
On March 12, 1990 she wrote a piece she titled - "Being Happier" - which seems to me to be directed to her grandchildren and great grandchildren. I am certain her time at the school with the young kids brought all this to mind. I share it with you here because it is typical of her wit, humor and wisdom.
"We should all learn to be happier by getting back to the basics, going back to the principles we learned in Kindergarten. This concept of life is thought of as a school for children to develop mental, moral and physical traits by games and activities that make use of their natural tendency to express themselves in action.
Share everything - Play fair - Don't hit people - Put things back where you found them - Clean up your own mess - Don't take things that aren't yours - Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody - Wash your hands before you eat - Flush the toilet - Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work some every day.
Take a nap every afternoon and when you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together - be alert at all times, Stop - Look - Listen!
Always remember the Golden Rule "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
Love - Sane living - Ecology - Personal hygiene and Equality are all important things to keep clean and eliminate the spread of disease in our world.
When we apply these principles that we have known all our lives we have better families, better government and a much better world. They hold true and clear and are a firm foundation to a happier life in all simplicity. Train our children with the basics. Frosty & Mema"
Mom tried very hard to keep me clean all my life. My grandaddy (her father) told me many times he feared she would wash and scrub all my hide off when I was a young kid. I have memories from early childhood when she would dress me in a starched white shirt and bow tie with short pants and always shined shoes to go to church on Sunday. At some point I finally grew enough that she relaxed her "church clothes" rule and allowed me to at least wear long pants.
I will have to say that to some extent it must have rubbed off on me because one of the primary reasons the Rose told me she agreed to go out with me was that I had clean fingernails, shined shoes and smelled good. In those days I wore English Leather because I never really cared much for Old Spice (my Mom's choice for me) and those were about the only two men's fragrances available at the time.
Solomon wrote - "The lips of the righteous nourish many" and "The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom." Proverbs 10:21,31 NIV
I praise my heavenly Father for a righteous, amazing Mema who, even as a young mother, had the wisdom to teach me the principles she recited above in her journal. I heard those words many, many times and only really learned to appreciate them when I too had children to train.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema #7
In virtually every journal Mom wrote she included many random bits about married life and how it can be a happy experience. I consider her a true expert because she and my Dad made it through 54+ years, they raised three children to adulthood and influenced many young couples by their example of love and commitment.
On a Saturday morning April 29, 1995 she wrote this prescription for "Happiness & Lifetime Marriage" -
1) Trust, (2) Honesty & Integrity, (3) Strong Commitment, (4) Shared Values & Interests, (5) Mutual Respect, (6) Face Up To Responsibility, (7) Solve Problems Together, (8) Be Happy, (9) Communicate, (10) Be Flexible, (11) Learn to Compromise
These traits between husband and wife draw people together like bees to honey! But, they may take a lifetime to learn."
On June 27, 1992 she wrote about "Time Well Spent" -
"We cannot harness time. The minutes and the days pass surely and swiftly by, like sand in an hourglass. Yet, unlike sand in an hourglass, we cannot invert the flow of time and begin anew. We cannot turn back time and "do it over", but we can use our time wisely by learning from all of our experiences and "do it better" next time. I've learned that the only true failure is the one from which we do not learn and grow. Time with God in worship is always time well spent. It makes for wholesome living and loving."
On June 6, 1990 she wrote this about "Grandparents Are Special" -
"Grandparents represent an especially unique combination of qualities. They possess insight and patience born of many years of trial and error in child rearing. That experience is a great teacher.
Grandparents have learned the importance of a sense of humor. They can laugh and put life in a wiser perspective. They know how to guide their grandchildren gently and lovingly through the turmoil of youth.
Grandparents represent tradition and stability in an unstable world. They are living proof that the challenges of life can be conquered after all!
Grandparents represent love and warmth. They give us so much to help us gain new strength with every difficulty. Obstacles thrown in life's pathway may make us falter and sometimes fail, but steady hands keep us on the right path."
On May 23, 1990 she wrote about their marriage -
"We have loved each other thru all the times in our life together. Our family know that we have tried to do by them the best we knew how. In our early years were some tough times just to make a living, but our home has always been together and happy. We learned by experience and have NO REGRETS! We made some bad decisions but always strived for good and we feel our life through all these years have not been in vain. Our beautiful children are our legacy, handed down through many generations and our hope and prayer is for them to know God and be dedicated to Christ and his church."
Then she added this note to the above in 1996 -
"There are more blessings than we could ever count in our life together. I miss Harold's hugs, his singing, ironing his shirts and making his favorite food."
Coming home to Kentucky to visit was something we always looked forward to because we knew there would not be a dull moment. The TV was rarely turned on because we had so much to share and laugh about. Michelle, Michael and Felicia loved being with Mema and Frosty because every day was a new adventure. I am very thankful to have had a family that kept us all centered on what is truly important. They modeled it and taught it consistently to all of us. Now, Amazing Mema is still doing it. Hallelujah!
On a Saturday morning April 29, 1995 she wrote this prescription for "Happiness & Lifetime Marriage" -
1) Trust, (2) Honesty & Integrity, (3) Strong Commitment, (4) Shared Values & Interests, (5) Mutual Respect, (6) Face Up To Responsibility, (7) Solve Problems Together, (8) Be Happy, (9) Communicate, (10) Be Flexible, (11) Learn to Compromise
These traits between husband and wife draw people together like bees to honey! But, they may take a lifetime to learn."
On June 27, 1992 she wrote about "Time Well Spent" -
"We cannot harness time. The minutes and the days pass surely and swiftly by, like sand in an hourglass. Yet, unlike sand in an hourglass, we cannot invert the flow of time and begin anew. We cannot turn back time and "do it over", but we can use our time wisely by learning from all of our experiences and "do it better" next time. I've learned that the only true failure is the one from which we do not learn and grow. Time with God in worship is always time well spent. It makes for wholesome living and loving."
On June 6, 1990 she wrote this about "Grandparents Are Special" -
"Grandparents represent an especially unique combination of qualities. They possess insight and patience born of many years of trial and error in child rearing. That experience is a great teacher.
Grandparents have learned the importance of a sense of humor. They can laugh and put life in a wiser perspective. They know how to guide their grandchildren gently and lovingly through the turmoil of youth.
Grandparents represent tradition and stability in an unstable world. They are living proof that the challenges of life can be conquered after all!
Grandparents represent love and warmth. They give us so much to help us gain new strength with every difficulty. Obstacles thrown in life's pathway may make us falter and sometimes fail, but steady hands keep us on the right path."
On May 23, 1990 she wrote about their marriage -
"We have loved each other thru all the times in our life together. Our family know that we have tried to do by them the best we knew how. In our early years were some tough times just to make a living, but our home has always been together and happy. We learned by experience and have NO REGRETS! We made some bad decisions but always strived for good and we feel our life through all these years have not been in vain. Our beautiful children are our legacy, handed down through many generations and our hope and prayer is for them to know God and be dedicated to Christ and his church."
Then she added this note to the above in 1996 -
"There are more blessings than we could ever count in our life together. I miss Harold's hugs, his singing, ironing his shirts and making his favorite food."
Coming home to Kentucky to visit was something we always looked forward to because we knew there would not be a dull moment. The TV was rarely turned on because we had so much to share and laugh about. Michelle, Michael and Felicia loved being with Mema and Frosty because every day was a new adventure. I am very thankful to have had a family that kept us all centered on what is truly important. They modeled it and taught it consistently to all of us. Now, Amazing Mema is still doing it. Hallelujah!
Monday, March 7, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema! #6
Amazing Mema has always been an avid lover of music - all kinds of music. She was always singing and dancing around. She has told me many times that when she was a young girl her uncles would give her a nickel to sing and dance for them and she was always happy to oblige. On June 14, 1994 she wrote this in her journal -
"There are optimistic feelings in great music, melodies that lend full bodied sound of hope and enjoyment. They seem to give an irresistible feeling of inspiration to positive thoughts, defiant hope and a warm sense of well-being. The world can't be too bad with such richness and talent in it. The most incredible thing to me is all music comes from one scale, DO-RE-MI-FA-SOL-LA-TI-DO. Our family likes to sing together."
On Thanksgiving Day in 1996 she wrote these words -
"Many exciting events have come our way and the family in our house have enjoyed every kind of music. Singing as a family has been a large tradition for us all. In the 70's Harold bought me a huge piano that I never learned to play, just couldn't seem to learn the rudiments of it all. I only sing by ear and one of my cousins, a music professor at Murray State, told me once that is the best kind. So, now I own a harmonica that was my Mom's, a dulcimer that was made by one of my friends and an old guitar I bought from a lady in Marshall County. This guitar was played by her from early childhood and she is now 85 years old.
It takes me back to my early years when Jimmy Rodgers was a big recording artist. I was 8 years old in 1927 when I first heard his recordings on the radio. He went to Washington DC and played with the Carter family. His records exploded the city. He was a yodler and made 13 of those kinds of records. People everywhere knew his music and he only knew three cords, just like me.
I remember in 1933 he collapsed during a recording session and at age 35 the "TB Blues" took him away. My old guitar is a LYRA and I'm sure it dates back to the days of Jimmy Rodgers, which I do remember well because we played his records on our phonograph in the 20's and 30's. What wonderful memories."
Since Mom lived many years on Elizabeth St in Paducah and they were only a few blocks away from the confluence of the Ohio and Tennessee rivers, they were able to see and hear the old paddle wheelers that were constantly coming and going within easy walking distance of their home. On March 13, 1990 she wrote -
"In Paducah, Ky at the foot of Broadway our family always rushed to see the showboats and sat on the bank of the Ohio river to listen to the steam caliope. The rivers were an exciting place to be in the 1920's. We could hear the Keyboard Whistler from our home and couldn't wait to get down to Broadway to see the big boat and listen to the music machine."
Now at age 91+, she is still singing sometimes, but not so much in the last year or two. She was always an entertainer, the life of every party, and I see that same trait in her granddaughters and great-granddaughters. Music is still an integral part of our family thanks to my Dad, who all the kids only knew as 'Frosty', and Amazing Mema. They created a family heritage that will be duplicated for many generations to come.
"There are optimistic feelings in great music, melodies that lend full bodied sound of hope and enjoyment. They seem to give an irresistible feeling of inspiration to positive thoughts, defiant hope and a warm sense of well-being. The world can't be too bad with such richness and talent in it. The most incredible thing to me is all music comes from one scale, DO-RE-MI-FA-SOL-LA-TI-DO. Our family likes to sing together."
On Thanksgiving Day in 1996 she wrote these words -
"Many exciting events have come our way and the family in our house have enjoyed every kind of music. Singing as a family has been a large tradition for us all. In the 70's Harold bought me a huge piano that I never learned to play, just couldn't seem to learn the rudiments of it all. I only sing by ear and one of my cousins, a music professor at Murray State, told me once that is the best kind. So, now I own a harmonica that was my Mom's, a dulcimer that was made by one of my friends and an old guitar I bought from a lady in Marshall County. This guitar was played by her from early childhood and she is now 85 years old.
It takes me back to my early years when Jimmy Rodgers was a big recording artist. I was 8 years old in 1927 when I first heard his recordings on the radio. He went to Washington DC and played with the Carter family. His records exploded the city. He was a yodler and made 13 of those kinds of records. People everywhere knew his music and he only knew three cords, just like me.
I remember in 1933 he collapsed during a recording session and at age 35 the "TB Blues" took him away. My old guitar is a LYRA and I'm sure it dates back to the days of Jimmy Rodgers, which I do remember well because we played his records on our phonograph in the 20's and 30's. What wonderful memories."
Since Mom lived many years on Elizabeth St in Paducah and they were only a few blocks away from the confluence of the Ohio and Tennessee rivers, they were able to see and hear the old paddle wheelers that were constantly coming and going within easy walking distance of their home. On March 13, 1990 she wrote -
"In Paducah, Ky at the foot of Broadway our family always rushed to see the showboats and sat on the bank of the Ohio river to listen to the steam caliope. The rivers were an exciting place to be in the 1920's. We could hear the Keyboard Whistler from our home and couldn't wait to get down to Broadway to see the big boat and listen to the music machine."
Now at age 91+, she is still singing sometimes, but not so much in the last year or two. She was always an entertainer, the life of every party, and I see that same trait in her granddaughters and great-granddaughters. Music is still an integral part of our family thanks to my Dad, who all the kids only knew as 'Frosty', and Amazing Mema. They created a family heritage that will be duplicated for many generations to come.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema! #5
A bit of history that many of my readers may not identify with from Mema's journals:
On November 25, 1996 Mom had attached a picture of an old dresser that I remember seeing in my childhood which I think was in my Dad's parents home, and she wrote an interesting note about it -
"The most important thing i remember about this piece was everyone was not fortunate to have a beautiful dresser as this. If you were 'in the money' and had a dresser it was the only mirror in the house. It was a piece that was surrounded with young girls trying to look in the same mirror. They would light kerosene lamps and put the curling iron in the chimney of the lamp and heat it to curl their hair. It was hilarious. People then had very little to fill the drawer space, as I remember."
On the facing page with the same date she also attached a picture of an old crank type telephone. In my very young years I remember this phone hanging in the living room of my dad's parents. Every time it would ring my grandmother would jump up to listen in to see who was talking to whom. My mom wrote -
"The old telephone brings back many memories. It dates back to the 20's when we lived in Paducah and visited our grandparents in Marshall County. There was a telephone mounted on their wall just like this one. The Central Telephone Office was located several miles away on Slick Back Road. Our grandfather Darnall was left alone when grandmother died so in 1932 my dad bought the farm and we moved there with grandad to care for him. I was a freshman at Benton High School and the old telephone was so helpful to us. Our phone ring was 1 long and 2 shorts.
Houses were miles apart in those days so those old telephones were very important to everyone. The people at the switchboard were very courteous and helpful then. They served an important purpose in our lives for communication and covered many miles."
Yesterday afternoon the Rose and I went to visit mom at the nursing home and walked in on a live performance of country gospel music in the dining room. The lead singer and emcee of the program talked some about "the good ole days" and after describing some of the hardships he and his audience had endured commented that in his experience, those "good ole days" may not have been so good after all. I was kinda happy Mema wasn't able to hear what he said because she would have jumped straight up and set him straight. TO HER - the hardships of life on a small farm in Marshall Country Kentucky were the very best ever! She loved every minute of her life because she was surrounded by so many wonderful people who loved her and watched out for her. She still is and she is still enjoying every WAKING minute of every day. HALLELUJAH!
On November 25, 1996 Mom had attached a picture of an old dresser that I remember seeing in my childhood which I think was in my Dad's parents home, and she wrote an interesting note about it -
"The most important thing i remember about this piece was everyone was not fortunate to have a beautiful dresser as this. If you were 'in the money' and had a dresser it was the only mirror in the house. It was a piece that was surrounded with young girls trying to look in the same mirror. They would light kerosene lamps and put the curling iron in the chimney of the lamp and heat it to curl their hair. It was hilarious. People then had very little to fill the drawer space, as I remember."
On the facing page with the same date she also attached a picture of an old crank type telephone. In my very young years I remember this phone hanging in the living room of my dad's parents. Every time it would ring my grandmother would jump up to listen in to see who was talking to whom. My mom wrote -
"The old telephone brings back many memories. It dates back to the 20's when we lived in Paducah and visited our grandparents in Marshall County. There was a telephone mounted on their wall just like this one. The Central Telephone Office was located several miles away on Slick Back Road. Our grandfather Darnall was left alone when grandmother died so in 1932 my dad bought the farm and we moved there with grandad to care for him. I was a freshman at Benton High School and the old telephone was so helpful to us. Our phone ring was 1 long and 2 shorts.
Houses were miles apart in those days so those old telephones were very important to everyone. The people at the switchboard were very courteous and helpful then. They served an important purpose in our lives for communication and covered many miles."
Yesterday afternoon the Rose and I went to visit mom at the nursing home and walked in on a live performance of country gospel music in the dining room. The lead singer and emcee of the program talked some about "the good ole days" and after describing some of the hardships he and his audience had endured commented that in his experience, those "good ole days" may not have been so good after all. I was kinda happy Mema wasn't able to hear what he said because she would have jumped straight up and set him straight. TO HER - the hardships of life on a small farm in Marshall Country Kentucky were the very best ever! She loved every minute of her life because she was surrounded by so many wonderful people who loved her and watched out for her. She still is and she is still enjoying every WAKING minute of every day. HALLELUJAH!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema! #4
In June of 2001 Mom wrote a long passage about her roots and the family she grew up with. She has told all of us for many years that "we have the best family on earth" and she always repeated what to her was the evidence that proved it.
Here is a small part of what she wrote:
"I wish every family to have the best memories as I do at this time and can leave a great legacy of happiness for Darnalls and Paces, beautiful people. They were caring Christian folks all our beautiful life together in my memory from early childhood. Norma (her younger sister) and I spent many summers with all our grandparents here on our farm which Dad and Mom bought in 1927. I has a happy person all my life here on the Darnall estate. We have the GOOD LIFE."
After her grandmother died, her dad moved the family from Paducah, where they had lived nearly 10 years, back to the Marshall country farm in 1934 to care for her grandfather. She always told me those were the happiest days of her life until she married my dad in 1937. Here is her description of life on the farm:
"The house daddy bought from Grandpa was a large two story house, big rooms and I really liked that house. There were approximately 60 acres of fine land which my parents rented out to be tended. We had a deep well to draw water, no faucets as we had been accustomed to in Paducah, no electricity, only lamps to fill with oil and no electric stove to cook, only a wood stove in our big kitchen. Daddy still had to drive many years to Paducah every day to work at the Illinois Central Railroad shops in new cars he bought every two years."
She later wrote:
"All our family make life so wonderful for me in this beautiful part of the world.
We have never ending love that lasts forever. Harold has been the center of it all and I miss him more after living alone for 10 years. I'm not a grieving person, so life is very GOOD with much family and many many friends. They are the greatest. Never a dull moment for Mema. Life is too short for grief. Family brings happy days."
In my opinion and observation, one of life's saddest tragedies is the absence of a closely knit family of love and support. I have sat many hours with angry, depressed people of all ages who have no experience of real love from parents, siblings and extended family. They never seem to be able to put their lives into a positive focus so their disappointment with it all rubs off on everyone around them.
God intended that families be the training ground for eternity. We learn how to live together in a supporting, loving, forgiving way no matter the circumstances we have to face. As long as we do it together, all of us make it to a better day. My family modeled that for us and the Rose and I have tried and continue to pass that along to our own family of 15 very special, much loved people. I agree with Amazing Mema, life is GOOD every day because of family. Thank you God for all of them!
Here is a small part of what she wrote:
"I wish every family to have the best memories as I do at this time and can leave a great legacy of happiness for Darnalls and Paces, beautiful people. They were caring Christian folks all our beautiful life together in my memory from early childhood. Norma (her younger sister) and I spent many summers with all our grandparents here on our farm which Dad and Mom bought in 1927. I has a happy person all my life here on the Darnall estate. We have the GOOD LIFE."
After her grandmother died, her dad moved the family from Paducah, where they had lived nearly 10 years, back to the Marshall country farm in 1934 to care for her grandfather. She always told me those were the happiest days of her life until she married my dad in 1937. Here is her description of life on the farm:
"The house daddy bought from Grandpa was a large two story house, big rooms and I really liked that house. There were approximately 60 acres of fine land which my parents rented out to be tended. We had a deep well to draw water, no faucets as we had been accustomed to in Paducah, no electricity, only lamps to fill with oil and no electric stove to cook, only a wood stove in our big kitchen. Daddy still had to drive many years to Paducah every day to work at the Illinois Central Railroad shops in new cars he bought every two years."
She later wrote:
"All our family make life so wonderful for me in this beautiful part of the world.
We have never ending love that lasts forever. Harold has been the center of it all and I miss him more after living alone for 10 years. I'm not a grieving person, so life is very GOOD with much family and many many friends. They are the greatest. Never a dull moment for Mema. Life is too short for grief. Family brings happy days."
In my opinion and observation, one of life's saddest tragedies is the absence of a closely knit family of love and support. I have sat many hours with angry, depressed people of all ages who have no experience of real love from parents, siblings and extended family. They never seem to be able to put their lives into a positive focus so their disappointment with it all rubs off on everyone around them.
God intended that families be the training ground for eternity. We learn how to live together in a supporting, loving, forgiving way no matter the circumstances we have to face. As long as we do it together, all of us make it to a better day. My family modeled that for us and the Rose and I have tried and continue to pass that along to our own family of 15 very special, much loved people. I agree with Amazing Mema, life is GOOD every day because of family. Thank you God for all of them!
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema! #3
"My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus Christ in him I'm blessed. His church being my rock of safety. Being here all my 79 years in growing faith keeps me strong in mind and body. Many things have happened to me but here I am all together and very happy. I'm living alone after seven years without Harold and making out really well. I'm not lonely or depressed - THAT WOULD BE A WASTE OF TIME AND ENERGY FOR ME. 11/98"
Over the years I have had many discussions with men and women who had lost their mates to death. Since I haven't had to live through that experience I cannot speak about it from a personal perspective. However, I have watched how my Mom lived that experience and how she just continued to be a blessing. I know she spoke truthfully about not feeling lonely or depressed because that is just not in her nature.
Hanging on the back wall of our fireplace, which faces the kitchen/dining room, is a large framed homemade plaque which was given to her by one of her neighbors. It simply says "HAZEL'S BED AND BREAKFAST". That neighbor watched the constant stream of visitors whom Mom welcomed into her home for however long she could get them to stay and presented her with his handiwork with the comment that she should start charging for room and board.
Sometime in March of 1981, Mom wrote extensively about the Ten Commandments and then commented that "Jesus condensed them into two: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and soul and mind and strength. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Today in our world these commandments are vital and very important to us as Christian principles to know and love God more. They show his power working throughout all the land. Put God first - others second and our lives will naturally be enriched beyond all expectation and above all will be pleasing to God"
Amazing Mema has always been a true servant and has modeled that for her family in ways that are unforgettable. That is why she was never lonely or depressed, she truly operated a B&B and loved every minute of serving others. She just never had time to sit around and feel sorry for herself.
Today as we visit her in the nursing facility, she doesn't know anyone, not even most of her family, but it doesn't matter because to her every person who walks in her door is family. She is still loving life!
Over the years I have had many discussions with men and women who had lost their mates to death. Since I haven't had to live through that experience I cannot speak about it from a personal perspective. However, I have watched how my Mom lived that experience and how she just continued to be a blessing. I know she spoke truthfully about not feeling lonely or depressed because that is just not in her nature.
Hanging on the back wall of our fireplace, which faces the kitchen/dining room, is a large framed homemade plaque which was given to her by one of her neighbors. It simply says "HAZEL'S BED AND BREAKFAST". That neighbor watched the constant stream of visitors whom Mom welcomed into her home for however long she could get them to stay and presented her with his handiwork with the comment that she should start charging for room and board.
Sometime in March of 1981, Mom wrote extensively about the Ten Commandments and then commented that "Jesus condensed them into two: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and soul and mind and strength. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Today in our world these commandments are vital and very important to us as Christian principles to know and love God more. They show his power working throughout all the land. Put God first - others second and our lives will naturally be enriched beyond all expectation and above all will be pleasing to God"
Amazing Mema has always been a true servant and has modeled that for her family in ways that are unforgettable. That is why she was never lonely or depressed, she truly operated a B&B and loved every minute of serving others. She just never had time to sit around and feel sorry for herself.
Today as we visit her in the nursing facility, she doesn't know anyone, not even most of her family, but it doesn't matter because to her every person who walks in her door is family. She is still loving life!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema! #2
Reading through Mom's journals is a learning experience filled with tidbits of new information. Trying to decide which short passage to share is difficult because I don't want to bore anyone with family trivia.
I have chosen to share something Mom wrote in one of her later journals on March 15, 1996 at 5:00 a.m. She had a dream about my Dad and it obviously woke her and she just decided to write about it then. Here is what she said:
"I remember two people who loved each other dearly. One was called away and the other was alone. Last nite she had a dream about him. Reality is cruel sometimes because when she awoke and knew it was only a dream but seemed so natural and real.
There were many dreams before but this time was the first and only time she could feel he had come back to her. He seemed so tired and she settled him down to rest in a nice clean, comfortable bed where he had always been. They kissed each other and she WOKE UP!
Dreams make us know what true life is all about. Life is harsh sometimes but this a sure thing - true love never ends even though separation is inevitable and real. Most of the dreams she sees him in crowds of people and once he came to her bed to wake her up for breakfast. But now she has been alone for almost 5 years.
The dreams still go on sometimes. This week his presence was so real in my memory, the feeling is AWESOME! I think I just don't want to forget our wonderful life together. God surely made us one in our married life together. We will live forever as he always said and I always believe it to be true. We had 54+ years together."
In a later journal (10/98) Mom wrote this about my Dad - "Harold has always said 'we have made our mark in this world' and he was very proud of our family. He is our model for living and what a great pattern of life he will always be for us all. In August 1989 he made this remark 'I have no regrets', and I agreed to that heartily!"
I share these words with my readers to simply show that true and lasting happiness is not only a possibility but a reality. It takes some hard work and lots of patience and forgiveness along the way but what greater heritage can parents leave to the generations that follow them than the affirmations of true faith in God our Father and unconditional love for each other!
Amazing Mema is a testimony to all that can be good in life. Even her dreams blessed her through the years since my Dad died in October of 1991. She is still living a blessed life in a place where there is much that can be depressing.
Stay with me on this journey and you will be blessed as am I.
I have chosen to share something Mom wrote in one of her later journals on March 15, 1996 at 5:00 a.m. She had a dream about my Dad and it obviously woke her and she just decided to write about it then. Here is what she said:
"I remember two people who loved each other dearly. One was called away and the other was alone. Last nite she had a dream about him. Reality is cruel sometimes because when she awoke and knew it was only a dream but seemed so natural and real.
There were many dreams before but this time was the first and only time she could feel he had come back to her. He seemed so tired and she settled him down to rest in a nice clean, comfortable bed where he had always been. They kissed each other and she WOKE UP!
Dreams make us know what true life is all about. Life is harsh sometimes but this a sure thing - true love never ends even though separation is inevitable and real. Most of the dreams she sees him in crowds of people and once he came to her bed to wake her up for breakfast. But now she has been alone for almost 5 years.
The dreams still go on sometimes. This week his presence was so real in my memory, the feeling is AWESOME! I think I just don't want to forget our wonderful life together. God surely made us one in our married life together. We will live forever as he always said and I always believe it to be true. We had 54+ years together."
In a later journal (10/98) Mom wrote this about my Dad - "Harold has always said 'we have made our mark in this world' and he was very proud of our family. He is our model for living and what a great pattern of life he will always be for us all. In August 1989 he made this remark 'I have no regrets', and I agreed to that heartily!"
I share these words with my readers to simply show that true and lasting happiness is not only a possibility but a reality. It takes some hard work and lots of patience and forgiveness along the way but what greater heritage can parents leave to the generations that follow them than the affirmations of true faith in God our Father and unconditional love for each other!
Amazing Mema is a testimony to all that can be good in life. Even her dreams blessed her through the years since my Dad died in October of 1991. She is still living a blessed life in a place where there is much that can be depressing.
Stay with me on this journey and you will be blessed as am I.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The Chronicles of Amazing Mema! #1
As we stumble and limp our way through life, we get to meet some truly amazing people along the way. They are the ones who will always be there to provide whatever we need to get over the humps and through the dark forests we all encounter. They are the ones who light up the darkness and come often to just sit quietly while we complain or grieve or rejoice. They brighten our lives with little thoughtful gifts meant to say just a word or two that we need to hear. They seldom or never complain, criticize or gossip about all the dirty laundry they have heard.
Hazel Marie Darnall Sutherland is one of those amazing people. She's also my 91+ year old mother. Her nine grandchildren and eighteen greatgrandchildren only know her as Mema. And, she is and always has been, pretty amazing!
This week has been somewhat bittersweet for all of us. One week ago today we took her to the local hospital on advice of her doctor. For several weeks she had been barely able to walk because of a swollen left foot and leg. She had eaten very little and only wanted to sleep, day and night for a month. We had an appointment with her doctor for later that same afternoon, but when the Home Health nurse came and saw how feeble she was and the condition of that leg she advised that we call her doctor. He told us to take her to emergency so they could evaluate her more thoroughly and quickly and then they would contact him.
They found she had a urinary tract infection, was moderately dehydrated and had a blood clot in her left leg. The doctor at the hospital immediately admitted her and they started an IV drip of antibiotic and saline solution. I truly thought she would likely not leave the hospital alive. From Wednesday to Saturday she barely was able to take any food or drink and still just wanted to sleep most of the time.
By the time my brother David and his wife Kim arrived on Saturday from their home in Minnesota, she was beginning to show signs of recovery. Our first clue was when she started singing, Each Day I'll Do A Golden Deed (A Beautiful Life). By Sunday she was sitting on the side of her bed feeding herself and talking like the Mema we all know. Yesterday, Tuesday, we moved her to a local nursing and rehab facility. She has been there less than 24 hours and already has everyone who has come in contact with her there talking about what a bright spot she is.
For most of the last 30 or so years Mom has been writing journals in spiral bound notebooks. I haven't actually counted all of them but there a many. For the next several days I want to share with my blog readers some of what she has written about family, friends, politics, God, church, neighbors etc., thus, The Chronicles of Amazing Mema.
Solomon wrote - "My son, keep your father's words and do not forsake your mother's teaching." Proverbs 6:20
God had this to say to his people long ago - "Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12
"Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the the Lord." Leviticus 19:32
"Cursed is the man who dishonors his father or mother." Deuteronomy 27:16
And finally, Solomon said - "The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures." Proverbs 30:17
I want to share the heart of my Amazing Mema with my readers to honor her and my dad because they deserve all the honor their family can give them.
Please stay tuned! This will be a lot of fun.
Hazel Marie Darnall Sutherland is one of those amazing people. She's also my 91+ year old mother. Her nine grandchildren and eighteen greatgrandchildren only know her as Mema. And, she is and always has been, pretty amazing!
This week has been somewhat bittersweet for all of us. One week ago today we took her to the local hospital on advice of her doctor. For several weeks she had been barely able to walk because of a swollen left foot and leg. She had eaten very little and only wanted to sleep, day and night for a month. We had an appointment with her doctor for later that same afternoon, but when the Home Health nurse came and saw how feeble she was and the condition of that leg she advised that we call her doctor. He told us to take her to emergency so they could evaluate her more thoroughly and quickly and then they would contact him.
They found she had a urinary tract infection, was moderately dehydrated and had a blood clot in her left leg. The doctor at the hospital immediately admitted her and they started an IV drip of antibiotic and saline solution. I truly thought she would likely not leave the hospital alive. From Wednesday to Saturday she barely was able to take any food or drink and still just wanted to sleep most of the time.
By the time my brother David and his wife Kim arrived on Saturday from their home in Minnesota, she was beginning to show signs of recovery. Our first clue was when she started singing, Each Day I'll Do A Golden Deed (A Beautiful Life). By Sunday she was sitting on the side of her bed feeding herself and talking like the Mema we all know. Yesterday, Tuesday, we moved her to a local nursing and rehab facility. She has been there less than 24 hours and already has everyone who has come in contact with her there talking about what a bright spot she is.
For most of the last 30 or so years Mom has been writing journals in spiral bound notebooks. I haven't actually counted all of them but there a many. For the next several days I want to share with my blog readers some of what she has written about family, friends, politics, God, church, neighbors etc., thus, The Chronicles of Amazing Mema.
Solomon wrote - "My son, keep your father's words and do not forsake your mother's teaching." Proverbs 6:20
God had this to say to his people long ago - "Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12
"Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the the Lord." Leviticus 19:32
"Cursed is the man who dishonors his father or mother." Deuteronomy 27:16
And finally, Solomon said - "The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures." Proverbs 30:17
I want to share the heart of my Amazing Mema with my readers to honor her and my dad because they deserve all the honor their family can give them.
Please stay tuned! This will be a lot of fun.
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