"I Just Lost It!"

Can you recall your latest "anger episode"? Can you recall what triggered it? What did that anger prompt you to do and say? As you look back over it after the fact can you think of some other way you might have handled yourself with a better result?
Anger is a legitimate human emotion. When we feel attacked or mistreated in some offensive way, our spirit naturally reacts defensively. And, sometimes anger can be a lifesaver. But, if we allow that defensive response to become habitual it can easily develop into a destructive lifestyle.
Solomon wrote - "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." Proverbs 16:32
"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11
Hair-trigger temper is always a weakness of spirit that we tend to rationalize with such reasoning as "I GOT SO MAD I JUST LOST IT!", or "THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM", or "SHE/HE KNOWS HOW TO PUSH MY BUTTONS" etc, etc, etc. You get the point. We've all been there and in the right circumstance can still go there.
Here is my favorite from Solomon's extensive commentary about anger - "Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self control." Proverbs 25:28 NIV
Uncontrolled anger leaves you defenseless because someone else is in control of what you think, say and do. Solomon's words have meant a lot to me because most of my adolescent and young adult life I was that "out of control" man he speaks of. I have never murdered or even physically assaulted anyone except my three kids who had to endure my temper fits when they pushed my buttons. Today I am often amazed that they love me and respect me as a man of true faith because I'm pretty sure some of my tirades bordered on child abuse. I admire all three of my kids because they are so much better at parenting than I was.
Anger isn't always a bad thing but when its out of control, even for a few seconds or minutes, it can destroy a relationship, an opportunity, even a human life. All of us can cultivate a better way to respond in those anger-inducing situations than with threats and violence. Self control is a learned skill that isn't complicated but it usually is a tedious process that requires someone close to you to hold you accountable for your outbursts.
I have also learned to really appreciate these words of the Holy Spirit because they have spoken often to my spirit - "Everyone (did he just say EVERYONE?!) should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." BUT he doesn't stop there - "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." James 1:19-20,26 NIV
Solomon's insight is priceless and worth repeating - "Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self control." START WITH CONFESSION AND PRAYER and see what happens in your spirit and your relationships.

"Lord, Teach Me To Have A Patient Heart"

Patience is never inherent in human DNA, we all must learn it. From the moment we come screaming and kicking into this alien world, our reality centers around what we want, how we want it and when, usually RIGHT NOW!
Solomon wrote - "A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly." Proverbs 14:29 NIV
I especially like how The Message puts it - "Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quick-tempered person stockpiles stupidity."
I like this one too - "A man of knowledge uses words with restraint and a man of understanding is even-tempered." Proverbs 17:27 NIV
Patience surely must be one of our most sought after and prayed for spiritual disciplines. But, its a learned skill. We have to work through a lot of stupid outbursts and maybe hypertension or even a heart attack before the serious reality of our juvenile habit begins to get our attention. At least that has been true for me, not the heart attack, but I got very close in the mid 80's.
Hair-trigger anger is a weakness of the flesh just like pride, lust, greed, envy and jealousy, and like all such sins, God expects me to recognize it for what it really is, acknowledge it and go to war with Satan to defeat it. Satan is the absolute master at controlling us through our stuff, and we all have our stuff!
But, God is really on my side in this war. He gave me his Holy Spirit to prove it. With the Spirit's instruction and guidance, I can stop "stockpiling stupidity".
I've slowly learned to pay careful attention to what triggers or feeds my anger and outbursts. If I can shut it down before it becomes 'full blown', pun intended, it does less damage to my heart, my life and to others in its path.
Solomon was probably speaking from a podium of experience when he penned these words - "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but anger rots the bones."
I am deeply, eternally grateful to my loving Father for giving me his Holy Spirit because only he can hep me in this war with my true enemy. He has and he will continue. Hallelujah!

MAKING THE BEST CHOICE IS NEVER EASY

All choices have consequences ranging from good to very bad to tragic. We all make some choices we regret, especially when we're young, green and inexperienced. Many of them we can't outlive so they hang on as baggage that we have to drag through life.
Over the years I have met lots of well intentioned people of all ages who live angry lives because of choices they may have made that they can't seem to embrace later in life.
Can we really live free of anger with the past? I've asked that question of lots of people who seem to be controlled by events long past that they still trip over. Unresolved anger with the past is the most common form of emotional unrest that I have seen in middle and older adults, and more than a few teens. Experience confirms that dating, marriage and parenthood can be a risk that can turn out to be one of those tragedies that hang on throughout one's entire life. I have counseled hundreds of men and women who feel trapped in a job they hate, working with people they can barely tolerate. I have invested thousands of hours listening to the sad tale of how life is intolerable and some totally frustrated person is looking for a way out of the misery that someone else created for them.
There is no way to know at just what point in his varied life David wrote Psalm 16 but I have come to believe it probably was in the early part of his reign as King over all Israel. He was crowned King at about 32-35 years of age and is believed to have died in his early or mid 70's. Somewhere along the way he made a decision that would carry him through a lot of anger and what we call angst about his life.
He wrote: "The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance." Psalm 16:5-6 ESV
Not an easy place to get to, even for a person of true faith. To me the word "cup" is meant to symbolize that which sustains and nourishes, and the word "lines" refers to what God intends for me. So, where God leads me, "the lines", will always take me toward a "beautiful inheritance".
I could never have done that for myself or my family, but God knows just how to draw all of us to a truly beautiful place. But, we each have to make that our "chosen portion".
Have you made some bad decisions in the past, or have the decisions of others caused you to live in anger? Make a better decision for yourself. Make God your "chosen portion" and you will find out how to get past all that stuff Satan uses to control your life. I realize that it can be more complicated than reading two verses from the Psalms of David but that's a good place to start isn't it? Just trust God to give you the leadership you need to get to His "beautiful inheritance". HALLELUJAH!