"For My Father and My Sons"

At 70 years old (if you can believe it), I am able to look back over more than half of my life as a father and now a grandfather. I enjoy every day in that dual role even though I am unable at this time to be with all of them in the way I wish. My three kids are all mature adults dealing with the daily joys and challenges of raising their own families and I find it comforting and honoring to see and hear them reproducing much of the same parenting that got them to successful adulthood.

My dad, Harold Thomas Sutherland, grew up as a farm boy who learned the value of honesty and hard work at a very early age in a large family.. He taught me to value the integrity of the name he passed on to me and urged me to ensure that our name would always stand for honorable values in our community. I was only about 10 when that conversation occurred but I never forgot it. The last 25+ years of his life were a mighty struggle with rheumatoid arthritis. His body eventually gave in to the ravages of all the medication he had taken for all those years and the progression of the disease and he passed away in October 1991. But, his sense of humor will be alive with those of us who knew him best for all of our lives because he just had a way of seeing the irony in many of life's odd demands.

At my Mom's funeral service a year ago I read a journal entry my Dad had written that is a humorous bit of insight into their nearly 60 year marriage relationship. Although we all knew they loved each other dearly, my Dad's sense of humor was usually filled with the irony that life's odd situations can often inspire. Here is what he wrote in Mom's journal on a cold, snowy January day in 1985.

"January of 85 has been nothing but cold, cold and snow. The big chill came on Saturday 19th with 7 inches of snow and falling temp, which fell to 14 below that night. Memaw always gets her hair done on Saturday and at 11:30 I drove her to town and she was to call me when ready to return home. It kept snowing and the temp kept falling. At 1:15 she called and said to come get her. The roads were covered with ice under the snow, boy was it slick. When I reached the old Sink Hole Hill, there they were stopped with a TV truck bottom side up in a ditch. The Police stopped me on the steep part of the hill. It was right then and there I decided when weather was this severe I would curl her hair myself."

I can easily imagine my Mom reading this later and laughing herself silly. She understood him better than probably his own mother and was never angry or upset with his humorous stories and jokes. They were a joy to be with and my own family speaks of both of them often, recalling Dad's stories and how Mom always laughed at them as much as any of us, even though she had heard them over and over.

Fatherhood is a special place of honor that our true FATHER share with those of us who care to learn about being a father from Him. To me, fatherhood incorporates three absolute essentials:
PRESENCE - My Dad has not been physically present in my life for many years but his "presence" is a daily reality. His appearance, mannerisms, values etc will always be with me. Thank you Dad for sticking around.
PROVIDER - My Dad worked very hard all of my life to meet every need of our family. His greatest provision was the love he gave us and modeled for us. He loved God, his family, his friends and his country.
PROTECTOR - My Dad taught me how to protect myself with his example and his training, often in ways that were humorous but effective. When I left home to go to the Navy he looked into my eyes, put his hands on my shoulders and said, "Be safe, I'll always be here when you need me." And, I did, often!

I now consider my primary "fathering" function to be this - to do all I can to love, support, encourage my two grandsons and five granddaughters to be faithful to God the Father's call on their life, live with integrity and genuine appreciation of all they are and can be, always look ahead to greater challenges and opportunities and always seek to be a servant to others in their world. I am more than proud, I am ecstatic to praise their fathers, Mike, Todd and John, for modeling just what my father modeled for me. I love you guys more than I can ever say and wish you a very HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, you deserve it so bask in it!